just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
