filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
