i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
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Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
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I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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