its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
