Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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