To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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