Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Found the puke drawer
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
