Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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