I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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