How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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