Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
