New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
