for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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