You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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