; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Randomize