ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
