ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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