girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Randomize
