I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
