I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Randomize
