did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
