Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
