Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
