Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
