Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
It's rum buckets o'clock
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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