i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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