Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
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She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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