He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
