Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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