yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
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Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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