i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I accidentally burped into my bong.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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