I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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