"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
