would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
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I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
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i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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