So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
It's just like the Real World with babies
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
