If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I just had sex on a roof
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
