That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'm at about main and main street
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
