The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
