the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
