Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
