and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
