do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
