yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
