Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
