fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
