She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
this will be a night to untag.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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