Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize