guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
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I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
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The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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