Your dad touched me again.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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