I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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