wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Randomize
