i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
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