i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
