You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Just invented taco cereal.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
