Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
sex in a hospital.. check
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
