So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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