It's just like the Real World with babies
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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