spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
