My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
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