It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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