she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i think i have herpe
just one?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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