The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
they call him Oral-B. enough said
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
