she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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