You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
