What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
