i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Your cock deserves a montage
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
