just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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